Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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