I just made out with a guy for $7.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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