I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
