you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
