Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
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