So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
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Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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