I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
