Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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