Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize