Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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