just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
