Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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