Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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