Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
