she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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