I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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