words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want her autograph on my taint
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
