well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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