It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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