Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize