is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
