just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
