your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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