She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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