Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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