College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
