is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
