if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
