no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
