I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
