Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am available for nakedness
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
