Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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