apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
