I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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