I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
