I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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