Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
