You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
