Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Shame - the story of my life.
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