Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
