When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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