it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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