***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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