Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
