Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
