I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
