Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
