so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
