they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize