It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
