Define "chronic" masturbator.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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