you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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