Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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