Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize