I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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