I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Oh god it's open bar.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
