if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
