I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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