I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
