Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
