shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
