i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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