i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
